dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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