David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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