After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There's a naked man in my car right now.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
