He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
