operation harelip BJ is a go
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
