And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i will never coherently bang her
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
