Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
