she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
