very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Can Purell be used as lube?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
