But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
