How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
