So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
