Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
