y did u give ur computer a hand job?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
