you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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