ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
