two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
