You really coming over, don't trick.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
