my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
