Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
