Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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