Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
