Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
