bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
