I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I came so hard my ears popped.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
