Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
