Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
