BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
