overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just want nice things and good sex
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
