I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
