i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
