I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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