Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
He felt like a one man threesome
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i out mim tonsoeep
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
