Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
