maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
