What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
