Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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