I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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