i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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