So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wish my penis had a tongue
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
