I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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