roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
God, I missed his penis.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
