look no pants
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
