was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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