Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
