Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He? As in you personified your dick?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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