My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
