Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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