Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
