I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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