its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
